Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there - to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but when you lock eyes with them, you know that every moment that you are with them, they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart.
Everything happens for a reason! Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet affect your life, the successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things.
MAKE EVERYDAY COUNT! Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.
Talk to people who you have never talked to before and actually listen.
Let yourself fall in love, even if it doesn't seem right because you are too young or too far, just follow your heart.
Surround yourself with those who make you smile, laugh and make you happy.
Break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to.
Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you.
Create your own life then LET GO and LIVE IT!
Everything Happens for a Reason
Finding the True Meaning of the Events in Our Lives
By Mary Shomon, About.com
Why me? It’s a question most often filled with anguish or anger. It’s also a question that’s usually impossible to answer. Psychotherapist and author Mira Kirshenbaum, however, offers ten different and intriguing responses. In her new book Everything Happens for a Reason - Finding the True Meaning of the Events in Our Lives, Kirshenbaum explains that nothing is random. Every problem is actually a potential learning experience that can teach you how to live your life more effectively -- providing that you understand why the problem happened in the first place.
Kirshenbaum believes that each difficult issue is a specific opportunity to learn a key lesson about how to improve your life. Her goal is for you to learn how to eradicate life-crippling issues such as:
Kirshenbaum explains that the motivation to move forward comes from discerning the message behind your troubles. She bases her beliefs on 25 years of experience as a psychotherapist, as well as specific research. Kirshenbaum talked to hundreds of people, who explained how and why they were able to find meaning from a negative event in their lives – one that they originally considered random and meaningless. Through statistical analysis and ‘seat-of-the-pants analysis’, Kirshenbaum sorted the results and found connections and patterns, leading her to identify the ten possible reasons bad things happen.
- low expectations of what the world has to offer
- little understanding of yourself
- loss of faith in a higher power
- lamenting a recent event or chronic condition
Incidently, Krishenbaum is very qualified to make some of the statistically unquantified statements contained in this book. Her entire family, save her parents, were Holocaust victims. After living her first four years in a concentration camp, Kirshenbaum’s early years in America were spent in an emotionally broken and physically transient home. Though she had a difficult childhood, she stresses that her many experiences helped her understand that life presents opportunities to learn and improve your future. So she did just that.
Kirshenbaum points out that ultimately, there is only one underlying purpose for misfortune - to use what you learn to make you a better person in the future. She states:
The good that comes out of bad things that happen to you
is to help you become your best, most authentic self. Kirshenbaum cautions that being authentic is very difficult. Why? Because other things push us to behave in particular ways, even if they slow down or impede our personal development. She discusses how behaviors such as seeking approval, pursuing work and fulfilling relationship obligations can inhibit our quest for authenticity. She also advises how to cope with these realities.
In Part II of the book, Kirshenbaum offers ten self-contained chapters, one for each reason that bad things happen. Each chapter follows the same pattern, starting with introducing a universal problem, such as letting go of fear, radically accepting ourselves, becoming a truly good person, finding forgiveness, and discovering our mission. Through case studies and analogies, Kirshenbaum explains how each problem can manifest itself.. She then lists a number of diagnostic questions. If you answer yes to the majority of the list then you have discovered an underlying cause of a current (or recurring, or chronic) problem. The problem then serves as a catalyst to help you more deeply explore issues in your life. The diagnostic questions listed in each chapter will help you get to some important truths about your own situation, setting the stage for you to not only learn from these truths but to act on them.
For a specific example, consider Chapter 7, titled “ Solid Like a Rock.” It starts with the premise that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Answering ‘yes’ to diagnostic questions like, “Do you feel your ability to move forward into your future is blocked?’ may mean you lack a firm enough foundation and need to find a skill set or mind set that can’t be taken from you. Kirshenbaum advises how to take this diagnosis and create a plan of action.
Overall, Kirshenbaum is tackling some heavy issues. Not only does she focus on handling tragedy, but she urges readers to dig even deeper and deal with the core meaning-of-life themes. Yet, she is never overly pedantic or preachy. Her tone is ultimately positive, and message flows. She makes it easy to keep turning the pages by inserting insightful, poetically stated truths such as:
Love is richest, most genuine, and most long lasting
when you focus on being yourself and doing everything you can
to make it possible for the other person to be him- or herself.
While Kirshenbaum believes beyond a doubt that everything happens for a reason, she does not promise that understanding the reason will erase any suffering that has occurred. Her plan is not “cosmic accounting.” Kirshenbaum does not promise that understanding why things happen will guarantee that you will gain equal to what you may have lost. Compensation is not the point; the real point is to use the lessons of the past to focus on the future. Kirshenbaum clearly presents ten inspiring scenarios of what can be.
Ultimately, Mira Kirshenbaum's Everything Happens for a Reason is one of life's wonderful surprises that she talks about in the book. Insightful, wise, and warm, the book can help us all find the often elusive reasons behind seminal events in our lives. I walked away from this book with courage, curiosity and a sense of peace about my own life's challenges -- past, present and future. It's a marvelous book!
My World: Do you believe everything happens for a reason. I believe God is all and all is God. So I guess if I believe one I must believe the other. For with God all things are possible and all things are good. But a part of me says that is too much like destiny. But then as I study the Bible more and more of it seems predestined. God controls it all. He chose you before you were ever born. Every religious person has tried to solve this mystery/ as has every scientist.
Here is what Wikipedia says: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Destiny
What does the Bible say?
“I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.” (Deuteronomy 30:19)
“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15)
“Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways.” (Proverbs 3:31)
“Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.” (James 4:17) (If we had no choice, then knowing to do good would necessarily result in doing good.)
We sin because we choose to. We can’t blame “Fate,” kismet, predestination, or God. James 1:13-14
God’s sovereignty reaches even to a plan for our individual lives. This is illustrated in God’s calling of Jeremiah—before the prophet was even born. “The word of the LORD came to me, saying, ‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, / before you were born I set you apart; / I appointed you as a prophet to the nations’” (Jeremiah 1:4-5).
David also recognized that the Lord had a plan for him. “Your eyes saw my unformed body. / All the days ordained for me / were written in your book / before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16). Because of this knowledge, David sought the Lord’s specific guidance in many situations, such as in 1 Samuel 23:9-12.
I am having trouble with the idea that all fated or destiny as God chooses. I do not know why exactly but more will be revealed.